i mean, i spent 7 months of my life with sen-8, if you count the bloody courting-wooing-firstdates bullshit that i wasted may on.alright, not wasted...admittedly the first three months were beautiful.and there were a lot of wonderful moments.beautiful,wonderful,i'm turning into a Hallmark card.but seriously-i'm so used to holding him and having him hold me and no one else, so used to walking straight up to him and taking him by the hand when i see him in public cos i'm reaffirming he's my property.now i can't do that.probably not now and not ever.but it JUST wouldn't have worked out.he is not like me at all, and whatever people say about opposites attracting, there is a certain element of bullshit underlying that deceptive phrase and the person who came up with it is probably divorced by now, if not dead, which is good cos then i wouldn't SHOOT him/her for being my SOLE justification for BLOODY ages.
ganesha's at class now.there are so many beautiful women in college-somebody expected them all to go to HELP but they ended up here and i'm not sad or anything...because i have found someone of my own ehehe...(why ehehe and not just hehe, why the hell do i have to add a Little Extra) but then i KNOW he looks at them and i feel a pressure to be just as alluring. let me count. sharonjit, balvin, cassie, the girl in blue sitting diagonally across from me, pinky (who will probably be coming soon), nina, isla, the Moschino chick, the Arabian CPU-ian (to an extent), the chindian girl with the impossibly sweet face, the two girls in ganesha's class (rrr haha) TWELVE ALREADY everywhere you fucking turnlah, whatever. no i'm not jealous. i don't know what i'm feeling haha.
sen smsed out of the blue a night ago, at 12am.he'd DEFINITELY heard about ganesha and i, because if he didn't it would just be stupid. like, who doesn't know. i did feel a pang - like i said its been more than half a year and the memories can't be deleted just like that *snaps fingers for effect* sally is giving me a week to get over him. yeah, it would especially help if i didn't see him, and if yodie was in taylors instead of help so i dint have to drive all the way there because i'm obliged to as her 'girlfriend' (i love her, its nothing at all, but if i don't call him out i'll look like the Empress of Bitchdom). to hell with social conventions. if we gave a fuck, ganesha and i would never be.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
hey sush haha sounds like a name vanessa-j would give you, know why?cos she calls socio Sosh.it's a natural progression.can't wait to release council duties.i see the gang more often outside the council than at meetings.i mean, zouk.hahaha do you know joslynn stabbed me with her cigarette, i have told this (oftentimes repetitively) to like a MILLION people.she should be grateful.there is NO way i can forget her now, even if i wanted to, which i don't.ryan saw me today, don't know what he thought or whether he knew.eesh.bleeb.what a satisfying word-proo i made it up, just say it it's so ticklish-BLEEB.
the boys had a gala time at literature today, because all the female goddesses we discuss are either naked or in a state of undress. and they always have their boobs showing. and the guys would walk around them like it was nothing at all.yet Diane changes poor whatshisname into a doomed Stag.these people were all very confused la.i mean take Diane-pagan goddess of chastity-who is also the goddess of childbirth. this means that she propagates fertility even though she is eternally virginal, which brings to mind Mother Mary and Biblical references, which the footnotes always draw a parallel with against Chaucer's verses. think anyone made a connection between Diane and Mother Mary? now there's something to stew over.
Venus is so full of Sex and the Need For It.god.i mean being horny occasionally is excusable-PRIYA!do you worship Venus!OMG IDEA do you, ching seong and tegence have a secret cult where you pray to her to maintain your states of horninesse eterne?(that's my medieval translation of the phrase) dressed like a bum to college today, been doing that every bloody day without giving a damn. hair's already like a heretic, thanks to the scheming mum who called up the hair-dresser to financially blackmail him into shearing TWO INCHES off my tresses...i loved the long hair i had...it'd always make me feel better when i had shitty days.now, it's just big and messy and it STILL makes me sweat so i derive NO advantages whatsoever but somebody loves me so it's all good. sush is right. *grins*
Venus is so full of Sex and the Need For It.god.i mean being horny occasionally is excusable-PRIYA!do you worship Venus!OMG IDEA do you, ching seong and tegence have a secret cult where you pray to her to maintain your states of horninesse eterne?(that's my medieval translation of the phrase) dressed like a bum to college today, been doing that every bloody day without giving a damn. hair's already like a heretic, thanks to the scheming mum who called up the hair-dresser to financially blackmail him into shearing TWO INCHES off my tresses...i loved the long hair i had...it'd always make me feel better when i had shitty days.now, it's just big and messy and it STILL makes me sweat so i derive NO advantages whatsoever but somebody loves me so it's all good. sush is right. *grins*
sen's online. i'm already bored. charissa's on too.oh and yes, he changed his friendster profile accordingly...with 'girls' shoved in discreetly at the back of his 'Interests.' 'my gurl' is gone. i mean, what did i expect? him to mope all day? he lost it a LOOONG time ago and i actually clicked with ganesha more than anyone else in the world anyway so what the hell am i on about? It's Normal, dhiv, don't worry...*talks to self* but i still want him to feel a BEET of pain for the hell i went through..meldee, you get it right..oh and tell me who got the makeover at the end i SOO wanted to come but mums exist, just as 'broken slepes and colde sighes' (ref. Chaucer) much luv to all,dhiv