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Monday, June 20, 2005
I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK
hola! my goodness it's been some time..damn, march was so long ago..i wonder if you people will still come back! i hope so! don't leave me! *sob*
nothing much happened since march. i'm still with ganesha, and sen has moved on and found himself a shereen michelle from sabah. someone who can keep him company on his nights out and has no qualms about getting high as a lord herself. someone who dresses like the women out of gangsta rap vids on MtV and can pull it off. am i epitomising the jealous ex..well, two sentences can hardly do justice to the amount of cathartic bitching i've done since i found out haha..by now it's old news, no one really cares a fuck.
i do, sometimes. but only when ganesha pisses me off and i think of other people who have made me happy.i'm only human!! it's not like i want sen back. no siree. memories are immortal. they reside in the soul. can't do anything about that. universal fact.
the finals were shitty, but i think i worked my arse off way more than i did for AS, which is a good thing. i hope the results reflect that. otherwise, i will resign myself to the fact that my high-flying ambitions are as unreachable as cirrus clouds and the only way i can end up sitting on a mountain of cash is if i open a 24-hr mamak stall and get cosy with local thugs to ensure good business.
JEEZ.why is life so hard?
i have to hunt around for the right unis to apply to now.considering the ivy league..my SAT results weren't so shabby, hehe *grins* but over-arching modesty prevents me from saying i kicked ass in the verbal section. so no one will ever find out.
oops.
am i lame or am i lame??its because i am so phenomenally bored!after college, your days become as long as alaskan winters and you spent half your time sleeping and the other half eating and cleaning yourself. i'm trying to get a job, but i'm so accustomed to sitting on my arse that getting up is out of the question. so i'm hypocrisy on legs. i will be updating the blog everyday..i must tell everyone about the prom..it was held in Zouk KL! yes, folks, step right up and be the recipients of the best piece of goss since wacko jacko got out of his paedophile suit..we booked half the club..and..stay tuned for more updates ;P now i know you'll come back.much luv.
Posted at 02:06 am by afrokarma
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005
tossed away like tear soaked tissues
I need a shower
to wash away the residue
of you
Exfoliate away
this crust
of old memories
Serenade myself
into oblivion
beneath the
gushing stream
Etch the word
with a damp fingertip
in the steam on the mirror
Goodbye
pasted by proud cousin of author gaayathri nair, auckland, nz. u roc my socs.
Posted at 02:07 pm by afrokarma
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Friday, February 25, 2005
joy.
that was the phrase of the day a while ago, and yesterday i told tegence to spread 'let there be light'. and 'sweet like chocolate', 'cos the bloody techno song was in my head. do you know before you use the PCs in this place you have to beep your ID in at this machine at the entrance? it's such a bloody pain! i mean, i walked in like i owned the place la, and he didn't stop me or ask any questions, so wtf. hee. benefits to being ignorant.
lit is in a while. skipped everything else today-need to study religion by myself, get the questions off priya and finish them over the weekend. am sitting for my SATs in May, and will therefore have to plead with lazy arse to get off area in which it is [usually] comfortably ensconsced and make a concerted effort to visit the MACEE website and see what reading materials i need by way of PREP.
mei yee never comes to the comp lab..or has she and i haven't seen her..i see a few familiar faces, namely people from PB1...i think the rest are either from different intakes or from SAM. regret not doing more with the council, but i honestly really bloody tried to make A-Levels bearable...the red tape and [weber's!!] bureaucracy bullshit...gah. lord, never stick me in some public-listed company with shares, paperwork, spreadsheets, board [bored, haha pun] meetings and graphs that are jagged and sinusoidal. yeesh. give me a piano, a microphone, a pencil [or a pen and my hand will do] while we intellectually dissect something intellectual [Haha] and jam the day away. oh, and good money while you're at it. i mean, think of all these people in the world who have found and understood their niche and get paid BIG FAT GREENBACKS to do self-indulgent stuff from 9-5. curses.
council, council, council..[sing to cheeky nyah-nyah tune]. lit in twenty minutes, people for me to meet in the gradual, processual release of council duties. Joy joy joy sweet like chocolate let there be light somebody STOP ME! haha found a new catchphrase, the lameness is a silent murderer. Oh, yesterday we celebrated juan jin's birthday.
------------------------------------------* JUAN JIN'S BIRTHDAY*---------------------------------------------
we had lunch at pyramid in a place called Kim Gary Restaurant. the menu is untypical of a chinese restaurant - they have these rice and noodle dishes cooked in a million different styles with two types of sauce-TWO,JONATHAN RONNIE KLASSEN-either italian sauce or red sauce. not. cum. sauce. and ching seong destroyed appetites by pretending to give someone a blowjob. which makes him the Blow King. bubblegum is NOT an indicator of how well you can give head. i can blow big bubbles. i am NOT blowing big dongs. know the difference. speaking of which, nohsh and joanne stole my gum and i spent five minutes plowing through my bag and cursing daveen for nicking them when it was those two. i swear i'm getting your backs, so watch out. HAHAH.
fiona, two guys from PB1, isla, joanne, jj, ching seong, jon, priya and i made the biggest ruckus and the least wastage in the place. try the shredded chicken with pineapple fried rice. rocked my socks. fiona had actually booked a room at Red Box for us to sing karaoke, and it's so bloody addictive but we'll come back to that.i didnt bring my student card so we were held up for quite a while cos i had to hunt for proof that i was a student. being devoid of bus and hotel cards [this is a Public Apology: I am a Stupid D.F.] i pulled out my Chaucer and tried desperately to use Cambridge Press as an indicator of my student identity. i mean, CAL and all. so we get in and the chaos starts.
we ordered food and drinks and i can't remember the first song we sang-oh YEAH! the SPICE GIRLS!but before that jon spoofed an air steward on board Porn Airlines (are you really that surprised) and we had to watch ching seong teach us wanking techniques. and he was very graphic about it. i couldnt look - i started smacking juan jin and hiding my head in priya's tee...then we launched into Wannabe and went downhill from there. ;) everyone had a solo, ching seong did elton john, i did beyonce, fi did misha omar, juan jin did aerosmith haha that was good, priya did tatu, isla did a MEAN solo on what i can't remember 'cos i was too busy paying attention to her vocals, and joanne was harmonising on everything. which is gorgeous, 'cos you hardly find people who willingly and ABLY do that!! all in all i had a blast. and i hope juan jin did too - he sent me off in a cab and ended up paying for my cab fare, which is lame cos it was his birthday.signing off here till the next time i have an hour to kill...oh, i saw my ex today...and i am still feeling the effects. joy. see ya.
Posted at 10:52 pm by afrokarma
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Wednesday, February 16, 2005
it's refreshing to have a colour change. hope this isn't too glaring though. if it is, i'll split up my paragraphs. priya looks so sad and tired outside in the garden...maybe i should go keep her company later before i leave...when is my dad going to go to WORK WHENWHENWHEN. ARGH. there have been so many times where i just didn't feel like college, where i'd ask to get dropped off at amcorp and sit sipping and iced chocolate in starbucks and doing some math or lit, after which i'd meet sen and waste away the rest of the day either thinking or agonising or going online.
and im upset over my AS results. stupidhead.
elena is leaving today. i will call her after class. wan tse called and made me want to blubber on the phone; she was half an hour away from her flight and i could hear the tears in her voice. i just read this featured blog where the girl talks about nothing but love and how her first kiss was and what her boyfriend did and ladida. yeesh. so in this entry we shall have no mention of a boyfriend and we shall instead talk about other things.
i have a thirteen-year old brother called vishal. he looks like my granddad, and he is a genius. no, like certifiably. two years younger than the kids in his form, and insanely intelligent. acts like a fool and talks like one too, however. but then you can see the flashes of brilliance surface, especially when he's trying to get my folks on his side. he's mastered the art of subtle coercion. stupidhead.
my mum is North Indian. milk-complexioned with jet-black wavy tresses. sharp features. yeah, she's gorgeous, turns heads all the time even at her age. horrible horrible temper, though. she's smart too, but not half as smart as my brother, i think. or so she says. she studies her way up/through. her name's prema latha, which means love something. ill find out and publish it somewhere sometime. we fight like crazy, and if it's her fault she'll NEVER say sorry. instead she goes out, buys me hersheys and sends me an sms telling me she's stocked the fridge. i've probably said this before, but i'll say it again - we are the dysfunctional Indian version of the Simpsons.
my dad is the Dalai Lama. he's so at peace with everything. he's South Indian, so the running joke is that my brother and i are Central Indian cos that's what you get when the parents 'collide'. my mum is prone to Extreme Lameness. she laughs at herself, and then you laugh cos she's so endearingly lame but that just encourages her and she spouts the lame-liners till we beg her to stop. my dad is actually really funny; he's got this acerbic wit he doesn't spare my mum from and calls my brother 'chronic'. we've never asked in what context. he's got a 44-inch waist which goes 'boing' when you touch it. i swear. we've tried balancing every damn thing small enough on his tummy and there's always enough room.
my mum's mum has strange ways of professing her affection. everytime she sees me, the first thing she says is 'donkey dog' in tamil. or 'stupid dog', depending on the meaning she attaches. she loves us but pushes our hugs away and raises her hand at the slightest jibe in her direction. i can't live without her. i adore her to bits.
my dad's mum has a remedy for everything. breakout? 'aloe vera EVERY NIGHT, just break off a stick and dabdab.' tummy ache? 'drink this [hands me very suspect looking liquid and watches me expectantly].' stitch in your side? 'bend over and touch your toes.'
enough for now. granny undies showing [argh, i hate periods]. much love, as always.
Posted at 12:37 pm by afrokarma
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Monday, February 14, 2005
in honour of stupid cupid, this entry shall be in pink. last year was my standard valentine's - i was single (yup, never celebrated it with a man till 2005) and i sat at home while it rained cats and monkeys outside and people jammed up the roads thanks to mid valley's travel fair. thought i could go out with the girls, but that ruined our plans, so we all sat lifelessly at home while people waxed lyrical about their super-convoluted Valentine's plans for the rest of the day over hitz.fm. Valentine's has never been of much consequence for me - oh YA though hahaha, last year i got a bouquet of 2dozen roses from a secret admirer and had to carry it all the way up to class. the stairs are in full view of every Taylorian and i looked the colour of the roses...it was as if i had been proposed to. back then i was still in pl2, and i was relatively new, so i was the fycking centre of attention. blecch, haha.
someone told me i should stop swearing cos it doesn't look nice coming from me...but all i did when i spoke to sen was speak his language which consisted primarily of fyck, bystard, a couple of reeaally bad chinese swear words and i think you can tell what they are, and exclamations like Dei!, Wei!, etc. we had the odd smattering of samadian lingo - massive, havoc [overdose, overdose], tiptop, etc. Et cetera is a grossly underrated phrase. what would we do without it? we'd actually have to THINK! and we wouldn't be able to pull of pseudo-intelllectualism! God BLESS et cetera.
Fact: Cupid is the son of Venus. the mum's a bit screwed up, sleeps around a lot, with all due respect and everything but she was caught with every last god (AND a mortal. Adonis) in Mount Cytheron by her husband Vulcanus. there is NO mention of her sleeping with Vulcanus, and Cupid's father has yet to be certified. so Cupid flies around shooting people at random and not telling them that heartbreak is a risk with early symptoms that are commonly ignored or desperately explained AWAY. Yeesh. haven't seen sen in exactly one month. and trust me, that is a really good thing. but in actual fact, i can't care less anymore after finding out what i have. upon close scrutiny of this blog, i have decided there is enough salacious content to satisfy any hungry Spanish soap-opera producer thus i shall not expound further, but let's just say that infidelity came into play...or rather a failed attempt at infidelity, because he was apparently refused, but i will probably not know that till later. i don't care. i know he feels it that i've finally found someone who completes me in three necessary ways - mind, body and soul. MELDEE!!!UPDATE!ill call her soon la we Need to Meet. :)
i bought ganesha the new Man U jersey and now i don't have enough money to buy sen's bro, vish, a birthday present. he likes orange, so i'm figuring if i want classy orange i'll go to topman and utilise my nice pink discount card. still broke beyond belief. eileen tricked me into telling her what i liked from the range of gifts they covered in the Star for valentine's, in front of ganesha - am NUTS about that swatch bracelet with the heart-shaped locket. strange, cos im not one for accessories, but the design is so minimalist and appealing and sexy. and avant-garde. don't know what the fyck that means. decided to insert a substitute, so i won't technically be swearing but i'll be projecting a swearing-ish thing. *RUBBISH* blogging is therapeutic in a weird way. it's like breathing, i know i will do it and i have to cos it sustains me, but i can't define how or why. no, i did bio, i know why we breathe. *RUBBISH AGAIN*
the cafe is open. Joy. but it tries to hard to be funkycoolStarbucks, with mirrors in odd places in the wood panelling and tables that are geometrical with chairs that dig into your arse. everything is bright and crisp and checked, and they play bloody lame elevator music. i have to change that. don't know how, but i have to. they were playing a piano versions of rod stewart. if i'm not careful, my bra will pop out of my TRF top. 1.45 p.m. is 8 minutes away. i actually wore red to college on a day where everyone seemed to be ESPed into collectively going Goth and coming in BLACK, which is MY COLOUR! *barks* irony of ironies. i love all my friends to little, iddly-piddly bits, if i don't express that, so here's a BIG HAPPY VALENTINE'S to EVERYONE. ho ho ho, merry kissmas. hee hee. -dhivia-
Posted at 12:40 pm by afrokarma
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005
sometimes it gets to me.
i mean, i spent 7 months of my life with sen-8, if you count the bloody courting-wooing-firstdates bullshit that i wasted may on.alright, not wasted...admittedly the first three months were beautiful.and there were a lot of wonderful moments.beautiful,wonderful,i'm turning into a Hallmark card.but seriously-i'm so used to holding him and having him hold me and no one else, so used to walking straight up to him and taking him by the hand when i see him in public cos i'm reaffirming he's my property.now i can't do that.probably not now and not ever.but it JUST wouldn't have worked out.he is not like me at all, and whatever people say about opposites attracting, there is a certain element of bullshit underlying that deceptive phrase and the person who came up with it is probably divorced by now, if not dead, which is good cos then i wouldn't SHOOT him/her for being my SOLE justification for BLOODY ages.
ganesha's at class now.there are so many beautiful women in college-somebody expected them all to go to HELP but they ended up here and i'm not sad or anything...because i have found someone of my own ehehe...(why ehehe and not just hehe, why the hell do i have to add a Little Extra) but then i KNOW he looks at them and i feel a pressure to be just as alluring. let me count. sharonjit, balvin, cassie, the girl in blue sitting diagonally across from me, pinky (who will probably be coming soon), nina, isla, the Moschino chick, the Arabian CPU-ian (to an extent), the chindian girl with the impossibly sweet face, the two girls in ganesha's class (rrr haha) TWELVE ALREADY everywhere you fucking turnlah, whatever. no i'm not jealous. i don't know what i'm feeling haha.
sen smsed out of the blue a night ago, at 12am.he'd DEFINITELY heard about ganesha and i, because if he didn't it would just be stupid. like, who doesn't know. i did feel a pang - like i said its been more than half a year and the memories can't be deleted just like that *snaps fingers for effect* sally is giving me a week to get over him. yeah, it would especially help if i didn't see him, and if yodie was in taylors instead of help so i dint have to drive all the way there because i'm obliged to as her 'girlfriend' (i love her, its nothing at all, but if i don't call him out i'll look like the Empress of Bitchdom). to hell with social conventions. if we gave a fuck, ganesha and i would never be.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
hey sush haha sounds like a name vanessa-j would give you, know why?cos she calls socio Sosh.it's a natural progression.can't wait to release council duties.i see the gang more often outside the council than at meetings.i mean, zouk.hahaha do you know joslynn stabbed me with her cigarette, i have told this (oftentimes repetitively) to like a MILLION people.she should be grateful.there is NO way i can forget her now, even if i wanted to, which i don't.ryan saw me today, don't know what he thought or whether he knew.eesh.bleeb.what a satisfying word-proo i made it up, just say it it's so ticklish-BLEEB.
the boys had a gala time at literature today, because all the female goddesses we discuss are either naked or in a state of undress. and they always have their boobs showing. and the guys would walk around them like it was nothing at all.yet Diane changes poor whatshisname into a doomed Stag.these people were all very confused la.i mean take Diane-pagan goddess of chastity-who is also the goddess of childbirth. this means that she propagates fertility even though she is eternally virginal, which brings to mind Mother Mary and Biblical references, which the footnotes always draw a parallel with against Chaucer's verses. think anyone made a connection between Diane and Mother Mary? now there's something to stew over.
Venus is so full of Sex and the Need For It.god.i mean being horny occasionally is excusable-PRIYA!do you worship Venus!OMG IDEA do you, ching seong and tegence have a secret cult where you pray to her to maintain your states of horninesse eterne?(that's my medieval translation of the phrase) dressed like a bum to college today, been doing that every bloody day without giving a damn. hair's already like a heretic, thanks to the scheming mum who called up the hair-dresser to financially blackmail him into shearing TWO INCHES off my tresses...i loved the long hair i had...it'd always make me feel better when i had shitty days.now, it's just big and messy and it STILL makes me sweat so i derive NO advantages whatsoever but somebody loves me so it's all good. sush is right. *grins*
sen's online. i'm already bored. charissa's on too.oh and yes, he changed his friendster profile accordingly...with 'girls' shoved in discreetly at the back of his 'Interests.' 'my gurl' is gone. i mean, what did i expect? him to mope all day? he lost it a LOOONG time ago and i actually clicked with ganesha more than anyone else in the world anyway so what the hell am i on about? It's Normal, dhiv, don't worry...*talks to self* but i still want him to feel a BEET of pain for the hell i went through..meldee, you get it right..oh and tell me who got the makeover at the end i SOO wanted to come but mums exist, just as 'broken slepes and colde sighes' (ref. Chaucer) much luv to all,dhiv
Posted at 12:40 pm by afrokarma
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Thursday, January 20, 2005
i'm so deliriously happy.
life's too short to allow yourself to stick with something that just pulls you down.once you know you're not meant to be with someone, and that there is a chance for happiness elsewhere, you have to grab it. but it came in the most unlikely form, and yet it felt like the most natural thing to happen. like all i had to do was wait for the inevitable. the love is overwhelming, i feel so beautiful and complete. it's so TRUE-thats been paraphrased ;) and anyway i have to learn to let go...he helps...seeing him everyday will help me erase the memories and the material objects that can get my tears flowing. i have to give myself up to thinking entirely of only one person-yet i hesitate-is it my fault that we don't click? is it my fault that i cannot bear the pain of disrespect. inconsideration, mood swings and plain 'i-can't-give-a-fuck-sometimes'ness?
my lozenge is too hot la.burning my already burning throat.
my lips have been dry the past two days.of course, it only happens when he's near.i keep myself up at night dreaming and thinking and smiling and wondering-but i burst into tears when i think of the 7 months of memories. we fooled ourselves into thinking it was meant to be. ive been fooling myself for 2 1/2 years. veno and thilak both weren't surprised-dee yelled at me though.and i have to talk to charis because she went thru the whole process. she's so happy now. she's the prototype im modelling myself after cos she had the BALLS *winks*
all of us are starting new chapters in our lives-shawn, darsh, sham, julie, ash, nimmi, maria...some of us have found someone closest to The One. or perhaps we might have found our soulmates-it's written in the stars, as elton and leann sing- and we just don't know.i might come back from uni and marry him.i WANT to haha this is the first guy i want to marry and keep for life!
strangely, when i think about him with someone else, i don't feel the pain. i feel like i always have-like i shouldnt care. (do you know the dude sitting at the front desk dint check my ID.twit.) perhaps the feeling comes from having seen him through all four of his relationships. wonder what monkey will have to say. A LOT. and the whole world will be surprised. but because he doesnt give a fuck about what the world thinks, i don't. oh but if he were with someone else (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) i would grow angrier, moodier and more rebellious by the day. shock everyone, not give a fuck, randomly flirt, ignore sen or crave for him even more to fill up the vacuum-and STILL live in denial.Denial, sirs and madams, is my Best Friend and Sleeping Partner. yeah, you read right. i swear. now the clouds have lifted. i'm so...
completely and totally fulfilled.yet i still feel a nagging doubt. but time will eliminate it.i think of myself in his arms and how crazily alike yet different we are-like he said, our personalities compliment each other. and i didn't say the words first-thats the best part. he did. which seals it. like COMPLETELY haha (word of the decade) we've both been fighting against it forever, and we both make excuses about the past but because i'm me i'm more blunt about my COMPLETE (bingg one more) lack of self-dignity...god i don't want to talk about it...i'm so scared...but i have to.ARGH argh argh choi haha- now why did i think of you-oh its so funny how they're having econs now and i'm coolly skipping it and how there's sunshine just about EVERYWHERE.eunice trust me (i know you'll probably never read this but i'll say it anyway) i think i've found my cloud 9 this time and ive seen him through all his cloud 6es, vice versa, so-STOP TALKING ABOUT IT AAAHHH!!!BYE!
Posted at 12:25 pm by afrokarma
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Wednesday, January 19, 2005
man.i am SO confused.
actually i think i know what i want, and im not afraid to acknowledge it because there can be nothing more bloody obvious in my life.
i'm just afraid of letting go.it's been such a long time and ive adapted to a certain pattern of familiarity-expecting something, talking to certain people, being recognised for certain things...and then seeing that statement on the Friendster profile which will be taken off very soon, if i do what i want.i want it but im tired of being upset...and i'm sick right now, and the smallest thing could/can aggravate my health.
don't mind this double-talk.it has to do with love.
i'm only eighteen.i've been in three relationships, but i don't think i've found what i'd been looking for.i have to use the present tense out of respect for my current significant other.things have been going badly, and i don't quite think i should stay in something like this because it is more like an Indo-Pak war of egos than anything-IRONICALLY,anchovy ;) (directed to somebody who will NEVER read this blog) i mean i don't want to be in a relationship where i have to play hard-to-get to earn respect and be appreciated. where i get debilitating comments and remarks that destroy my self-esteem. where i feel like i'm the younger one, where i seem pathetic to the outside world, where i am seemingly deserving of everyone's pity due to the hardship i'm going thru and it just makes me feel like a fucking BABY.
love is like this.it hits you out of nowhere.it is crazy.and only the two of you understand each other. there is a bond that is impossible to break-however many fights you have or how you seem like Public Enemies No. 1 in front of people, the feeling is still there.and you CANNOT control it.seeing the person makes your day, makes you want to explode inside and not see him yet want to all the frigging time.it's what keeps you going and it can actually make you forget every last piece of bullshit complicating your day/night. yeah, i've been losing sleep.
when you hear that person tell you he loves you, it is insane. i am actually considering looking for The One..and i'm not upset at all about the fact that i need this level of commitment..because he's there and it's the only thing that makes sense in the whole scheme of things.i'm too scared to talk about it..it's still fragile and i need lots of reassurance..but i think that going through the shit we have for the past 2 1/2 years and seeing each other land darts everywhere except the bullseye (and the fact that we've been embroiled in every controversy you can think of) has sealed it. i don't know. i'm SO SCARED. because its all in my hands. i wish he was the one to make the decision-men can detach themselves a tad easier than women..just a TAD haha..i will need time..but i hope it comes through.
to those of you who've plowed through this double-talk and valiantly tried to understand, i salute you.wish me luck and pray for me-even if you don't know what its for.i'm going to need all the love i can get.luv peace and chicken grease-dhiv
Posted at 09:41 am by afrokarma
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005
we go to rum jungle.if you know where beach club and nuovo's is, follow the road till you reach the very end of the stretch and it sits tucked away on the righthand-side. the middling crowd (it was a tuesday night) was made up of middle-aged white couples and people past their prime but pretending that they weren't. so what else is new. sanjay got us a table immediately, and a jug of beer i obviously didn't touch. renesh, ben and i ended up sticking three straws in a glass of Coke cos a jug cost 37 bucks and we were strapped for cash (SURPRISE) and we were attempting to teetotal. i say 'attempting' cos what happened later completely ruined all my noble intentions.
sanjay insisted i was being lame for sipping coke in a club at 12am and said he'd order the least alcoholic cocktail on the menu for me. tasted like piss so i passed it to darshini. sham and julie had Flaming Lambo's, which is very hardcore and i remember this cos sanjay couldn't down it at his birthday and suren and i had to wait for him to be done puking at Abs. Chem's loo later. did i mention it was the same night he threw up on sen's shoes? yeah, i know, a biological connection between the ex and the newbie. how very cun.
after rejecting the cocktail, he bugs me again and tells me there are four dispensers outside with free drinks for the ladies. what i don't know about free drinks is that they are very alcoholic and that they look harmless but are bloody deadly. kind of like some mushrooms that look like reasonably edible fungi and practically scream at you to eat them raw and go-back-to-Nature and all that bullshit but end up killing you efficiently five minutes later. julie tells sham and i to down the cup i filled-she levels it similiarly and the boys are all chanting the famous 'Down It' mantra with eerie echoes of sen's birthday-except for ganesha and amit, who are telling me not to. so i obviously do. i mean, it's ganesha. and ten minutes later i am laughing like a jackass in the Ladies with julie telling me very firmly to only speak to her/sham and shut up otherwise. i find everything funny-julie's concerned expression, the commode, the bright lights that line the top half of my vision...and suddenly paul van dyke becomes so appealing i have to get on the dance floor.by this time everyone is sufficiently high and so we all spill onto the podium in a sea of black/brown/leopard print (julie) and white and dance like idiots.
lavin worships van dyke.
what i actually drank, according to renesh later upon closer (sniffing) inspection, was 95% whiskey and 5% peach concentrate. i downed it in 6 seconds.
so we dance and dance and dance, and the DJs play Kelis on big screens around the dance floor but heavy trance stuff from the console so we have a weird mash of sounds that just adds to the surreal factor. i was in giggly mode for about 15 minutes...i don't know why it takes such a short time for me to sober down from a high but perhaps its a good thing. nisa said we should try bridget's jone's thai mushrooms from The Edge of Reason cos everything becomes beautiful and it validates you almost humping someone when ur fiance is a thousand miles away. she's a riot la. so i dance and dance and the boys aren't satisfied with how much they drank at rum jungle and make a stop at the SFX 7-11 to buy a couple more drinks before returning to cititel.
lavin runs into the CRV gleefully telling me he's flicked chocolates and would i like some.who am i to argue or preach on morality. i was fucking hungry and stoned and darshini was pissed and raymond was doing all he could to take care of her and i missed sen so i ate everything around me and sang loudly to renesh's records playing in the car till darshini plaintively asked me to please stop somewhere near the Selangor Arch. i think i was singing 'Silent Night'. back at the hotel lavin didn't stop talking till about six in the am and everytime raymond went to the loo to puke lavin would loudly announce his annoyance to me.I know, the irony.it was so funny and sweet watching darsh and raymond take turns watching over each other-first she was pissed then he got pissed (that was scary, cos raymond has a tendency to swear at his reflection in the mirror and come at you with a Chucky-Doll grin plastered on his face).
so we all go home the following day at 1pm.the usual happens-my stomach feels horribly empty, as does my head, my hair is an absolute nightmare and im reeking of Marlboro Lites, my clothes are sticky and everything i brought is piled one on top of the other in plastic bags.the girls packed for me while i got dressed in the loo.i buy a horribly expensive lunch at Kavitha's (if ur a self-respectinmg mamaker, don't go there.they'll rip you off.try Acha's) and go home to sleep.
Posted at 10:46 am by afrokarma
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Monday, January 10, 2005
okay i KNOW i was supposed to update about the second week of holidays...but i can't believe i'm actually glad to be in taylor's again. the night before orientation i went to zouk to experience Ghetto Heaven for myself, and surprisingly, as much as i seem like the ultimate party animal, i didn't really like it. shawn, our dear, beloved, darling shawn, withstood the antics of the five females (and zero males, another brownie point) under his care...i have to put that idiot's pic up soon. he's fast becoming one of my best girlfriends. protected us when there was a fight, followed us around, steered us clear of pervs young and old and smoked to relieve the stress he was undoubtedly going through.
about zouk, though...i have never seen so many gorgeous women in one place in my life, nor have i felt so fly-on-the-wallish and insignificant.my god. these chicks are HOT.they are SIZZLING HOTPLATE TAUFU.don't ask me why i used a dish to put my feelings in words-im just trying to help u visualise the searing temperature of their attractiveness. heat practically radiated off them and men flocked to them like ants to sugar. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING. so us lesser beings pretended not to look lesser-beingish and mingled with anyone and everyone. jos humped my knee when we dirty danced and sharanya went all 'Go Mallus!' in the middle of 'Yeah' and proceeded to dance very enthusiastically with me to the delight of shawn, who kept encouraging our mildly lurid antics.
jos had a friend with the tattoo of a horse on her left shoulder-blade and she was rubbing herself all over me. i was a wee bit scared but her boyfriend decided he wanted the action for himself and led her away, leaving me a relieved but a bit disturbed. she was really cun though. can't blame shawn. am giving up on men and turning lesbo. informed nanggai about this, and she said i don't have the capacity to make the change yet. hmph. anyway, i got picked up by random africans and jamaicans, the latter being more friendly than the veryveryhorny former. there was one reggae-loving white dude and one indian guy who asked if my bf was there...i told him i wish he was then said i was actually out with my girlfriend and pointed at sharanya. stuck my tongue out suggestively at her or something haha its SOOO fun freakin ppl out for no reason. think he liked the idea though.
the music was crap at times, and when it was we'd just sway in boredom on the dance floor till (i think) the DJ got the picture. nisa and lena got to go to the VIP room cos of iqbal (who is quite hot) and if you wear white in zouk you glow like a firefly's ass. none of us drank, everyone smoked (but me), i got burned in the left wrist with jos's ciggy butt and now i have a permanent discolouration. somethin to remind me of the time i went to KL's craziest club on it's craziest night. stupid horny parking attendants. men are all horny and dumb.well, not all of them, just those in Ghetto Heaven, therefore my generalisation is unjustified and you don't have to come at me with pitchforks.
val pulled me up on the podium and there i was shaking my badonk-not noticing that she climbed back down to have some fun with shawn, who confided in me later that she went down on him (not literally but from a dancing reference-to touch the floor) like 6 times. haha that's assunta for you. i have to put on some weight-so many dance practices have taken it's toll and not eating well (because of certain people) has also contributed to me looking like a shrunken prune. dammit i still have an hour to waste. im sooo hungry. but i have no one for company and now that i have told ching seong class begins at ten the dear will only be here at 9:59:59.5s. as usual, love you all, merry backtocoll young and old, will be back soon to tell you about my first high at rum jungle. Yes. that is slightly juicy. haha. what am i for if not to tantalise *crapping alert* ew, the guy opposite me just belched. Byes!
Posted at 07:53 am by afrokarma
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*what i like*
music-happpiness-confidence-cute men-financial security-my dog-goosh-blogs-togs (haha)-Gothism (?)-chocolate-good company-love-ganesha-my girls-theatre-beauty
*what i dislike*
bitches-superficiality-disintegrating self-esteem-friends who suck the life out of you-when Balls rule the Mind (ahem)-casanovas-insecurity-green peas-pink-zits-my life-my lack of focus
*music (currently lah.very the fickle.)*
muse-incubus-the verve-india arie-john mayer-old hindi classics-norah jones-crunk :)-most jazz-fusion-Celtic-mozart-mendelssohn-debussy-scarlatti-a.r.rahman-broadway-
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